Drunk in charge
So it’s this ridiculous charity event today- yet another fecking cancer research one. Why not an obscure and under funded little known one, or something? Anyway, this is the weekend of the year in which my mum never fails to come home in a complete and utter state. She is already half way there.
It involves getting dressed up in a stupid costume and going on a pub crawl, basically. Brilliant eh? An EXCUSE to get shit faced “it’s for charity”. It’s not for charity- it’s for the local pubs to line their pockets!
The day started off with me practically having to force my mum to eat breakfast. I know full well she would have eaten nothinghad I not done that- meaning she would have been even more drunk than she is now. She even argued with me over eating “all of it”. She is like a fecking child.
In a fit of rage earlier today, I broke my free step counter I got from the RCN Congress (by stamping on it), threw my phone against the wall, and smashed a plate- partly because I’ve lost my camera, and partly because had I had my camera I would have to take pictures of my mother becoming increasingly drunk and embarrassing. I ended up buying a new phone instead of watching the stupid pub crawl (which set me back £70) and then met them in the pub (where else!?) when they’d finished.
My old phone still works- albeit being a bit smashed up, so out of the kindness of my heart I gave it to mum- who was excited. I explained to her about changing her numbers over, did it and the job was done. She then proceeded to ask me every 10-30 minutes or so to give her her old phone back- because all her numbers were on it. Now, how many times does a “normal” person really need to be told that their numbers are no longer on their old phone but on their new one? Even a tipsy person can get that. Oh no, not her. She is like a child. A really stupid one at that.
In the end I got so hacked off with it that I threw my drink at her and stormed off. I’m not her mother, I shouldn’t have to be like this with her. It’s not right. It’s annoying. I don’t CARE if alcoholism is a disease- she should be able to stop this. If I can stop smoking she can stop drinking. Surely its not that hard.
When she comes home later she will be in the type of state where I have to watch her incase she trips and falls down the stairs- she always is after this. Her “friends” think its really funny and that she is “wild”. She isn’t “wild”- she is a complete joke.
This is why I have such a hard time looking after alcoholics at work. This is why.
Filed under: If I didn't have bad luck...I wouldn't have any luck at | Tagged: drunk
I sympathise - LAS deals with far too many alcohol-related calls, when we could and should be dealing with proper emergencies.
We frequently get calls to people who are drunk, either in a pub or in their own homes. No other obvious illness or injury - just drunk.
Where the pubs are concerned, the staff happily (and illegally) serve customers who are so drunk they can hardly stand, then call an ambulance for the “patient”, because they know they will risk losing their licence for serving an intoxicated person.
By the same token, you definitely should not be in the position where you are your mother’s “carer”, because she appears to refuse to help herself.
Sadly you may eventually have to accept that there is little you can do to help your mother until she accepts she has an alcohol problem. She may have a lot further to fall before she aceepts this.
My father has an alcohol problem and it was only by removing himself into the middle of nowhere and living with teetotal relatives that he stopped drinking. Failing that he would have ended up on the streets because I had decided to stop being his ‘carer’.
As for it being a disease….it’s an addiction. Cancer, TB, influenza are diseases.
Good luck Faith - buy yourself a punchbag rather than trashing your belongings and put a picture of someone’s face on it.
Jeremy Kyle; David Cameron; Gordon Brown (balance there a la BBC); Jordan; Tom Cruise, etc…
Alcoholism is widely accepted as being a disease…alcoholics have physical differences that cause a different metabolism of alcohol, making it nearly impossible for them to stop drinking. It is difficult to see it like this, but if your mum had diabetes would you be saying, “Why can’t she just have normal blood glucose levels”? It’s the same thing. However, this does not remove the responsibility for treatment of the disease. Just as a diabetic has a responsibility to check her blood sugars and administer insulin shots, an alcoholic has a responsibility to abstain from alcohol and treat that disease. And the above comments are true: if the alcoholic refuses to acknowledge and treat the disease, there is no point in trying to change her mind. Is there Al Anon in the UK? Those people are black belts in how to have boundaries with alcoholics and not let them run your life! Good luck. I feel terrible for you having to have these interactions.